Change

       Change. That word has so much meaning. Change comes easy for some people, but for most it is hard. Some people can make a tough lifestyle change, and stay dedicated to it, but most people can't. I, unfortunately, fall in the latter category. I find change difficult, and in some instances, near impossible. I know what I need to do for the kind of change that I want in my life, but the hardest part is finding a starting point, or a sign. I'm trying so unbelievably hard to be a great father to my son, but it is so incredibly hard. Actually, I don't even think hard is a good enough word to use. It's tough. It's tough knowing I will never have much of a life ever again. It's tough knowing that I can't do things when I want to do them anymore. And it's tough not ever getting any sleep. I know that this sounds like stage ten bitching, but it's a process. A process of becoming something that I never knew I could be. And that's a great father. It's change. But more importantly, it's a change for a chance for my son to have a better life than I did. I hope I can dig deep within myself and find the strength to make the changes necessary to give him a great life and to give my wife and I a better and healthier lifestyle. Whoever reads this, if any, please keep me and my family in your thoughts as I try to become something more for them. I wish for all of the help I can get.

                                     "It's a long and lonely road, when you know you'll walk alone"